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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”2 z: w6 i# u1 }; j& U7 F
1 z/ E/ m$ N5 \2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”- e: t, M% ^+ W6 |) F0 ^* _
( T2 i2 h5 g# P男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”3 y( W9 u$ A7 [. ?
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
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老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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. v6 H2 F4 w+ ~* i% D笑死我了。。。+ @- t. {8 G: a K8 M' X
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭， ^& n' _5 x( k# K7 s
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!3 |& d1 F' d5 E6 q8 y! s
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
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; l+ J! ^4 M' s* A" W晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，2 l! W2 ~; }5 z
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”7 Y' y! G2 R$ K% j- F* @/ u! l
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…* M# ^! u O8 `, T- w, K: s5 G! q
8 I+ m5 v; ]$ N, T- d5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，' j* D. D7 A% ^$ n9 \
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
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7 @% f' G; x6 l3 t I一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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我，无业闲人一个。
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' T( A1 ~: r ?* i+ H5 b! d女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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, N! Q8 q. }: O; {我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。7 p3 R3 k d% [! D! I( G
7 r5 T0 t, g! L' d0 E9 m0 g% E女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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