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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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5 ?+ H. b& [1 b! Y6 p男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。$ X7 N9 X: L1 G/ f- e8 X' a
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老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。9 @' K1 ?) V1 R9 `! @7 w" X, U
4 i8 Z+ H* V2 i女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。8 T- i* H9 Z( z' ^9 Y- I4 x- `! ]
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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& o0 t$ \4 M$ { S5 r) Z可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
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* O, s7 B' l* f) H3 E我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!; T1 x( L- s( O5 r% b' K
/ d5 F# n, h! V, O/ q& P她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!% e. D Z/ B( F* n5 U* ~) k$ D
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晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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# r9 ?8 f! `4 W恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，' ~5 p+ |( @: M0 }* b( |* f
& @9 }' ^/ l! | {4 J就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”/ q8 t- O; ]5 z- ^7 a1 U5 W4 c
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…" k; a; j5 Y4 ^' |% _& y
4 A2 w( r* U; O% r6 i5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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7 [4 i B* A, U2 S. f我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！/ z) @0 L* a" K( c3 \
# `8 D/ w9 l* w) o9 d一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。* w* `, j9 ?4 {' \
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？' [1 l" f4 _% e; Z0 ], `1 `1 T
8 M" w' u+ F2 ^. c* q我，无业闲人一个。
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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