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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐% }" R6 G% G2 L6 ?; v
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
( f7 O: a1 Y! h" ?我先来！
% U0 t3 F7 V$ Q5 O* ?3 q2 ?# a A; E* A0 t; x" A, |# n- v# h8 R
9 {$ ?) ~ @; u* _* o" {2 O0 j: lA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”9 o& N j# b o, H- c1 D$ R
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”9 T% q# v2 D7 H6 u, \9 u( t% I, k
8 p1 r1 z5 j9 q+ C" Y, i2 A! h- c% G9 A3 A! ]0 Q
深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"3 S7 u2 r/ \0 N5 x! r2 y: O! J. c
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，, |7 w2 I, [1 f# U: v- x% |9 F
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”4 O( f! _2 G' F7 j" D
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，4 n- `* }( E- L7 u+ b
所以非常受欢迎。
! g1 V) ^7 K+ o5 w1 B第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，1 }$ A' V- ?: v& q* ?
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
. V- g4 y" D ]" \大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，7 i" ^+ i! ]9 h) O6 z$ A
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
3 E) ~6 u9 b) w# x有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！: N- K( O3 {3 k/ b3 d8 Z9 \, l7 L" s
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
0 c8 s$ q. G" Q( ]0 t$ W她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
* X8 Y% D# F. j; k生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。8 Q. v6 |! {6 C
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。5 ]: g6 _! W0 _' M T
小明：不行
- x, i# ^8 }6 l# R老师：為什麼？
" b( Y. u. q4 e* n; v7 |+ K ?3 Q小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分6 z4 G' r# k# z
小明：我是照你的话做的
( W# v& {4 L: \" D- |+ Y: ]妈妈：我说了什麼？7 p3 C2 ]3 L) u. q' n2 J7 F
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
+ l {! ]$ U0 l Q+ Q她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，& v) F2 e- A* ]
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”5 h2 ^1 b4 F# i) |! E
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？4 c5 g V+ |" Z& D
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
3 H6 g0 t) M; L2 x* c+ n小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
2 e. s {, k% {/ p3 \7 H然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ / h7 S7 D. W$ }" Q0 O8 i; E) y( m4 V
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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