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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！% b3 M+ ^, `) |: R+ Y y. F
我先来！7 G9 X1 E) I1 }$ {
" ^1 [. N( }- b% S' B" M: c, `) ]1 i6 Y) M+ X3 v- q# I9 z1 Y d
A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
$ x. Q2 G) Z( h( ]9 L同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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3 e, i: I' e5 T% }. q/ [深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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# H0 `( _4 @/ h6 v1 m, N一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，( W- U/ W+ |6 e3 E& h5 ]; t
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！” z, U4 X$ M7 q( U" `% e! S [
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，* E% j" T- K4 R8 ~1 n* p, i
所以非常受欢迎。, a9 P2 M3 k5 L# s2 X
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，& y5 k, s( K3 |& @) @/ e# Q
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”. O9 r# h% g4 h9 q: L
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
5 v$ S7 I5 v0 }* F! o回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：) S; e+ j8 e. K# y1 g2 F/ _
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！& d* V$ ^1 n+ G/ W: ~* Y
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
$ T/ ]% z" h' E: u/ s她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪' L- c- A' `$ p9 p
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
6 Q9 I. s0 d$ k8 Q$ f @. H于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
; p1 d: h3 c) U+ R1 Y小明：不行
& u p& J- M8 [9 ^老师：為什麼？
# a* o0 p8 f3 b) B8 O小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
8 I$ S, a+ W4 I: n6 Y( ]/ N: L8 V小明：我是照你的话做的
7 K; x7 K M7 a/ s+ `6 f @妈妈：我说了什麼？/ j. c" p* M, \; p* j) E: R
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
6 E- B& Z4 a. s. M* S1 ~1 \ ]她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
- e3 M+ d8 a+ w就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”0 v4 p. d; S& W1 C4 z" j" E: \$ w" o
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？5 W0 r1 A5 R; F' k0 x
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？; ?1 N$ ~7 X W) T
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
+ Y2 ]. j3 e0 _8 T# D$ Q然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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