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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐+ @: u* |9 V2 x( i
& q. M1 E9 |5 C1 v- E. {. L# b( [
( w4 q) `' u& O今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
8 c1 j3 h- b# b! V9 L, c, k% b我先来！
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
) G& M6 b! `% U* Y) r同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，4 L: B7 T/ L3 B4 _2 B% o
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
1 _# K' z; z+ P9 A4 k8 f5 k" j弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
- d1 C. i1 [1 p* o; e/ A所以非常受欢迎。- W( w7 _. m1 R9 M& D
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
/ T5 j* R' s0 k) A4 j- H问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
c) A3 @1 T; w3 V; a6 ?( W大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，6 S c2 a0 j) \" }6 b" i4 N
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
9 S7 y! |/ s8 V) L有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！: }" q6 \' C9 @/ }% d
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
. r& ]( O& r7 p0 z她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪( e3 Z; {% T3 U( d$ y' T
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。* \# [" r; N4 `+ @& V
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。0 ]- \: v' p* o7 D( T# t
小明：不行
$ Y0 y! n0 t) q, m+ |6 G5 v6 U+ F老师：為什麼？7 G E9 `1 {7 o) A9 l" z# p
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分! t2 [( |3 u, t% ?
小明：我是照你的话做的
1 z4 M# W. z; c. U' [6 f5 @" z妈妈：我说了什麼？
+ ] f9 Y+ B% @# i* F7 P" r$ v; o小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
4 W* h! c1 D3 Y2 x她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
& p3 k. E f+ g% o. N) N9 v' j* \就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”1 G2 W& V ], a+ ?4 `' A* q
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？0 R2 U, P% t1 R# a3 \9 W; s
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
V5 [- [+ s5 Z; V小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
! f1 |8 G3 l9 t4 m然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ ' ?( H" J0 d' V( R. ?4 S
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3 W w* d1 o, p4 u! s6 k大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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