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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐% }3 x" T% ?+ p0 _
" O$ G7 ^4 V9 H- b% }& d) [6 ?" i& m& Q; \
今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
7 j" r6 L) c w; R3 U' Q4 G3 o% b我先来！6 M8 X' W x, M/ O1 C/ c* R# b: k# j
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”* [' v4 R2 y6 O+ y- }" |
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”3 A% p/ p2 F6 ?* c3 l
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
2 H: o; T6 `9 E$ [( J0 t每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
* j0 m+ M" _" ~# h3 q2 E- z7 D弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，9 P( N; q u. \2 X) T5 F
所以非常受欢迎。
" x1 {# i5 m: q$ C" u/ E: ?第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
( w$ ~: e# [6 k0 d; @) f7 y5 P问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”$ n E5 h4 G7 I2 n) t% T. S
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，) B9 l0 ` c( p q5 e6 A8 F
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
2 m; g+ t' e' i( c3 W7 r6 T4 T7 y有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！0 ^2 J0 l- Q0 X+ C
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”& Y6 B* ^- Z( v1 t" V
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
+ T/ \5 t( @5 Y& _/ I, z, h生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
* V) \% K8 M3 _2 z/ v于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。- G% ?9 h) m# Q& s! K
小明：不行
. R3 ]8 v3 b: S, }) U, I. v) l0 F0 i( P老师：為什麼？* {6 _% n) ~$ }0 e
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
0 n& R2 K6 W: q# g小明：我是照你的话做的5 h# l9 w- c. l1 T. _8 }
妈妈：我说了什麼？# v6 H8 N3 c$ o, q/ M9 @) r
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，1 m% T2 f1 [* T& x
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
) `+ U1 [: B) x, w就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
" m0 ]7 q& r% R) l& f4 q" y" F: {小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
4 r$ [1 ~2 u% b' r: E+ P) }' q妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？1 _- t* n% m. ?/ V. S5 k, J
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！- X% g. R, B4 A; f* h$ F
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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0 Z) L, I; m3 F& d4 N大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。2 U" U E0 h7 K: E* f! q+ w- Z9 {( k
7 N h. L& s/ `: s/ c# H: a* k' l9 ?, D: ^/ {, ?0 w a* |/ K+ i7 [
+ ^4 f. i* J h6 h% ~7 i
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