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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
* _+ ^1 w' b0 A7 T# G2 q$ i1 B我先来！; ]& B0 E$ j- q
$ ]& E" `7 d3 Z! d, Y* d
; m* r- j7 |. J% K8 h7 W! n( d( lA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
1 `7 r" i% D7 }5 L0 @同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”) ~% ?! `+ h. I% d
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1 P# O9 D* W" N深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"& s, o# o& C2 u2 K7 h, b0 d
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1 X; M8 K8 y: q1 ^一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
" i2 B: H! H! m" A* b8 C! g1 N: L每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
2 J- x& E U5 z/ h K) H弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，: a( P* N2 z2 T/ G2 {$ ~
所以非常受欢迎。
8 j* Z7 Q0 t) x# w; [1 e8 b第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，3 G, f8 G% e3 `1 @0 P
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
9 u* a# [$ T. L! Z+ M大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，* I: x. I- g( S) t$ {" _2 U
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
. M: h6 f" t# d3 ` d" O0 h有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
! z' T( [5 E" m. p, o0 Q8 v不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
+ G3 z6 t! p: j) i, W她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪: E$ A$ M7 H* p9 N$ d% i) v1 O
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。) k- ]- P( d- x1 ~' W' ?( T
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。. Q6 a2 b+ c. w; ~* E. Q2 n
小明：不行
/ I, M% u7 @* x% h3 a6 i老师：為什麼？7 l! B( s2 b o' |: u0 N
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
$ V2 i1 f. P0 w小明：我是照你的话做的3 P( c: E/ E: k! v. Q( [
妈妈：我说了什麼？
7 P6 G6 l! F$ S9 s R1 W小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，9 Y. T! U7 ?: X; [0 N! F
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，0 ?, z! h( C: F5 v. J8 x; N+ Z7 I: e
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
2 I- O# Y: L1 e$ K6 A9 i* h* a+ u小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？, c) p& E( [' J. F( e8 t/ o
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？: C7 X8 y$ w% t4 `! v2 r& F
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！) [0 ~; Y) W s2 m6 T) _
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
$ N) N) C# A: F4 g" Z- A4 r
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
7 b- g0 R6 X7 U7 a1 H( ~2 I4 Q. U# R' f( h9 O) \
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