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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”
0 M9 @& c3 F( G1 F" _
* {7 ` W( _; [6 P$ |4 ^0 Y2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”1 ]' i0 `9 b6 r/ i) Y2 n# ]
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
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- N4 v; c. X$ ?; L& S* E3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。6 b% H% y+ D4 a6 ~9 |
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老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。5 `* b0 e, W' U4 k9 L
6 A+ G% p: t7 E8 G女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!& B e, h/ i' P2 @8 H$ l
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
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晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”, R9 ~# G# k' } H% L
6 |( u0 j, F% _& v恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，
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5 @8 e) ~; K/ a x( \9 O/ ~就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”$ B+ F8 ^9 D- B. E. Y: e; {$ s
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…; _6 o* Z+ R2 `$ X" M
1 n- i* I: N( F: l9 F4 i5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，0 h* J# F" ]: C. z3 o# V
. Q/ K7 e. W# c# x我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！8 ~+ u- i) m3 M a1 g6 A+ ^
( \! E4 f; c) S6 H8 N一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
: s8 B' t3 T+ L! E8 O& W* E
. z1 s2 S H- ^" u当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？: j3 k0 ^0 ^( Q$ i0 }0 A: G; u+ j
( I6 }# ^" F' g7 v& y- e我，无业闲人一个。 J! v1 Z( t7 }2 F
H, E- e7 u2 m2 B7 r! n/ M3 {女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？( L5 R; J- O' Z( w* z
7 r. y1 G [& V, A我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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i! s7 h7 Y6 Y- u- r5 Y+ e女：滚她妈犊子，滚…" F( o! X5 O; Q6 v$ G1 T' ]
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当前离线
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