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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
, f6 n) m4 m1 B5 v我先来！
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9 G% x# u) Z# [% J+ fA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”9 }4 ~& T, l# Y4 H
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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% B, g7 m& {+ t# k$ H$ [' E) K$ r深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，. S% `9 d6 h) U4 W
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”$ G$ r# J- H4 D) z: Q' p6 s
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
* A% {8 K- q2 ^( z c+ w0 \" S$ ~所以非常受欢迎。* K# A7 W4 O' ]+ f% m
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，# C3 N8 P1 s! R/ U
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”; O7 t+ Z& t O( o
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
* {/ P3 v# B D6 N' R4 m* J9 _回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
/ }# f2 |' w# \: Q/ A5 m有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
3 P0 T. i: A+ z) b6 k& K不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”- S$ P: h' o/ ^& U0 r5 b
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪! s( N B3 i6 n( o. t
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
0 Z4 c1 q- _( A Z" Z) h9 E于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。- u9 ?+ E# g8 n8 N
小明：不行, y3 ?* f9 e0 Z7 u! T) x% Z( q
老师：為什麼？
; F, L% v% z# O0 h/ @" l) {2 m小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
6 z. {3 W( T( _- G5 u1 }$ l' e小明：我是照你的话做的
6 s! W# w1 ~7 Y0 S9 V妈妈：我说了什麼？
3 a. M8 k- t4 S+ i小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
5 e5 }* W/ a: P$ I; S! X' R她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
" K1 |/ d- J ^0 Y" N1 y" h就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
8 J" A9 i6 e) G6 ?1 S0 _: ^9 ^+ P小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
7 Z3 f' i5 U4 m, _* W( J2 v) Y7 N3 K妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？; v9 c+ Y' |5 U+ I# X# d
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！! S4 ]( s$ R4 p3 H5 [3 I1 j( I T( E# U
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 2 w4 l1 S" R$ I) j
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$ K$ X& P8 c" @! P- T! L大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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