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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”
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7 o; ]! h* w; h2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”
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3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。
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8 X9 s. _! `$ R' b! U) W" V老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。4 {* _) ~2 I/ ]. e% {$ Q
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女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。
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/ ?2 c% |8 x3 A9 o, t: i( n% A4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家," W, F" ~2 Z+ @
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可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,6 V0 o) r. }% p- G
* C. o7 L6 Y1 ~. }' R我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦!0 N1 q3 S; a9 `% F) O! e
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!
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晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”
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5 t, C4 S5 f' J恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴," h( O, S! C0 H, `8 c0 L" `! k2 q, p
5 A) q; K/ i5 {% H. d) N就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”; R0 {0 g }; l) b! n$ j
4 `8 t, U" a1 Z- z% I7 V: g6 B孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…+ g" M* E; ~3 C7 b
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5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,2 j5 a" v" E& H' h4 M t
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我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!/ K" q5 i# D. E7 k, _
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一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。
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当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?, r$ i" [# w7 [/ l& m- E2 M
! p! x8 {% O/ G$ A6 z我,无业闲人一个。9 G) v4 }( s2 T, k# q4 b2 G
! M) d& x* [0 g女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?
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我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。# G7 H3 L; }* t" \9 }
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女:滚她妈犊子,滚…
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当前离线
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