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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐* z/ T( t- S& i! z& O) i4 ^
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！. ]: ]( K$ y1 G$ t
我先来！# x) t. J6 z7 A. L* B! Z6 X
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”- k, s( \' T4 ?, O$ G- T
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”. ?" t, t- A- k4 H L. h X0 b
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"0 M$ A/ i3 ~+ F3 ^
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
0 d1 e& D$ L5 e( W5 W/ b0 a2 _每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”8 |* D- Y# C6 G) ^
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
. J6 W7 s) U, n" g, W7 ~' b* E所以非常受欢迎。/ \$ ~7 T) ~4 P( [
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
& p. ^7 Q" \9 ^- `' ?' e1 m6 k) T& j问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
8 K p$ I- j, t5 [" V- L$ z大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，' ?9 {! _ Z7 B2 d/ o
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
* {& P! S" ?! w有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！) j5 A! P3 q( j
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”0 W. ^" p) x( r1 H
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪( K0 w3 S0 ^" c" h& b* a0 h0 Z& m
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
% x: K7 j) Z$ ~3 F' u* \7 e于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。8 |. c4 }1 \+ K
小明：不行% @. G2 x# S, J1 o! t
老师：為什麼？
5 Y3 ]2 I3 w- w小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
3 b! i! Z$ A0 `7 D6 c小明：我是照你的话做的
, N6 @7 U( z0 m妈妈：我说了什麼？: y: [( E2 i) ^4 d2 P" N9 m1 k# ]
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，- ]: Y$ d* W6 V# K
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，, j# j' ] |7 b% T- L7 \0 t9 B) }3 m
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
! L4 p& ?* f- a" O/ q5 ? J5 T小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
& F& V: H, P# t* T7 L! Z! V妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？. E) n3 P3 y7 |2 {( e
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！ L$ ^0 D7 F! h9 z2 w
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。+ o4 h7 d/ H: Q9 f
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