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1.局花
+ @% E4 v/ s8 R' t1 V+ m局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，+ v5 V3 z* e( k0 V9 u' }5 J
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
, m9 X6 Y B8 @! Y! X小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。. w. P( z7 \9 y% j
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么. `; n, j& F) j* S
& i7 d8 W- x; z& N! R2 D
2.媳妇3 j+ v, _9 c# Q% \. N- x3 B
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
1 S& X/ M7 a% Y1 [+ J他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
0 B2 `# C+ ~% S' [谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”; B( w4 E6 P& ?8 b! `; e
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
+ E3 Z7 R+ m& T8 m5 V# c5 x2 v6 `: \ [' J& ~! ?; v2 N4 K
3.倒贴 A T! T# w r5 d U- o1 H
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
; l; X- f3 X8 e, D4 r于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。3 D3 f$ S' P, R R) e7 i
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
" U- q. Y* v$ o" O) n: {老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”: J" t; m+ b1 L: z3 m# g8 s
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，7 s& D' m( B% b
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
& n7 @+ {, q. t; L9 s& p9 ` c! K% c1 ~( k评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊1 {5 e0 z+ ? Y# L" K2 k! {
0 n( U ` \, \4.刺激
* L" o( L8 Y6 |+ s2 t9 }今天我走在街上，' v! [/ J' M" [" e4 ?$ X" h4 E
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
, h, X8 N4 q' ^6 N，我心想完了。6 ~8 j4 ^, a; R' H
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
5 ?# M r8 ^, M7 b“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
4 }+ \: L6 T+ ^9 r0 s2 W9 {尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
8 Q2 P% U3 ^9 l1 w8 j3 E7 ~& g评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
l* o2 G" I3 }% d* v) k
4 K6 |4 Z, x2 n& {; z5 s* X5.不加倍8 m$ G/ j# C$ N$ o$ ^! q5 S+ \6 y
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
2 G: \. h4 e0 @. i# b& @6 W今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
; |! \; E4 e6 [9 S7 m! @/ J老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”, x/ _" v( m, O, v
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！” n8 q' K. ^- G5 P- B
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”* ?9 }; g/ y# M
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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