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1.局花1 s8 ^0 ~7 m8 F2 R7 \
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，2 s; K/ ^) O8 L7 D1 N( q
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，! I5 V4 f7 X2 G1 b! Z" ]/ M! d
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。7 A {5 k6 I& B8 W: e
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
# A( y; _* C p$ v. y
) |' h7 S- I* X8 J: m2.媳妇4 `# @* i+ o% Z c# n
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。6 y0 S) k% [( q# y+ D
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
- o6 y" A1 k1 S谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
T0 x" a' _+ G" t9 S评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺6 i/ W: h" e/ q9 P; P. O; S1 @' u9 m
( K% Z3 C5 c* c9 h! [% _3.倒贴
3 [3 N" q$ P6 j过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。& m O0 R- \: \# `7 b9 O
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
0 w6 c7 O7 U; y5 V老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”: U" B# t Q$ |7 i0 {, t. ?" v2 n
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
6 b' ]( [1 t+ }2 }; y& R! Y/ C话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
/ t6 @8 g4 E, G“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！” ]. d, k7 z. P. v
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
3 c! X1 a" `5 x! B+ ]0 n& ~$ f* c/ G' J2 ? b
4.刺激
; S! w- M$ K- p- z/ O e( S今天我走在街上，+ S# r7 n( T6 C$ o, t: i" p3 S; Y
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺' {+ O& ~. K0 P, S7 R
，我心想完了。
1 v8 o! W! c1 y" J) T# H% g过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
1 B0 @ W" t) j) n“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。# P T: {/ o8 l! X; E3 n0 ^
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！" w( F7 R% S6 R0 y/ W$ l
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激, ]- W1 W8 [9 x( S
( j% S) Q J' T2 N6 v5.不加倍 }4 M9 @4 v/ h8 {/ ~" U
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，" T. G: ^# I) {8 H; O" y4 E# ^
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。- }3 E! t- ]6 V1 M" n
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”$ X$ R7 g8 m9 X* _( l+ G
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”( p$ s+ N- `, O# _) I0 v
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”. U+ @0 m! q) _9 \% B9 Q: F+ m
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的$ k7 h f0 T: ^" T+ i9 b. K8 e/ W
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