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1.局花) b7 y1 u! c! d# ? \0 m# x+ O
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，) L4 A/ B. E# B0 \# Z
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，# J: b" ?/ r7 k! A5 a
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
5 l, q' p% L; l8 b& w评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
9 B, K+ ]6 w8 j9 I" ?& {0 B' r$ w. R: _$ M7 U, C# F
2.媳妇# q3 N0 t# j& }6 h
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。5 V$ N1 X' ] o6 ?, e
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
, _( ~/ S+ j; h* T; k谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
: [/ v/ g. y% C$ [2 a* v' |; ~& f评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
3 b! @2 a5 X+ j8 S$ P7 x& e1 \7 t' A
3.倒贴; Z- [$ I* h& D* `! N. i3 V
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。3 J' s+ P( ]4 ^: C- }0 A! _1 G
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
' e1 s5 X0 j+ C7 r& d老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
" R" h. W# v0 {老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”/ Y& k- K" ?$ a
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上， s E: h5 t. {0 ~# m: K4 F- X( [
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”- r8 ]# Z' B% x3 r
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
5 z# N. V/ t3 p1 r
' Q& o4 | i I4.刺激
8 S" E+ ?6 q5 v; N, Y+ w# T: j+ }今天我走在街上，
{! H) @ H: Y* w# s对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
( p! ~$ @% h* @* P3 X; K: M5 l1 F) a，我心想完了。7 y! X# U7 J0 Q' r% [
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。, m9 @8 m. t, Z+ c5 |8 `2 M% U8 B% N |
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。0 d# \2 }4 d x* _' z
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！/ j R6 Z& t* C: W0 Z
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
1 ? g: C" A% y8 D3 w9 K- N) Z4 Y& H. b! ^; j4 `
5.不加倍
x! n. H+ Z8 o# C5 y! b) L小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主， Z1 K9 s( ?( G7 Z8 Q! B
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。0 {. H5 I4 `6 r# l8 B2 N5 i
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”4 k0 g0 R; |* z9 Q3 T& T9 z4 q
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
8 a7 e3 r$ j- f* P; i5 b小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”7 n! C5 b/ u0 I6 U
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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