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一伙劫匪在抢劫银行时说了一句至理名言： “通通不许动，钱是国家的，命是自己的！”大家都一声不吭躺倒。——这叫观念转化，改变原有固定思维方式。 ! f+ G9 g& _- ^8 b( S7 U
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! q4 }$ y& @- O9 K9 F4 F劫匪望了一眼穿着裙子躺在桌上呈大字形的出纳小姐，说：“请你躺文明些！这是劫财，又不是劫色！”——这叫坚持职业操守，不该干的不干！
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: r- J: R5 J' K+ b( D4 ~抢劫成功回去后，其中一个新来的劫匪（硕士学历）说，“老大，我们赶快数一下抢了多少”: @" r9 ?& T: c
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那老劫匪（小学学历）说：“你傻啊？这么多钱，你要数到什么时候啊？今天晚上看新闻不就知道了吗。” ——这就叫工作经验，这年头工作经验比学历更重要! % E B1 Q, s" j( U+ b) o
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劫匪走后，行长说，赶紧报案！主任刚要走，行长急忙说：“ 等等！把我们上次私自挪用的那五百万也加上去！”——这叫危机预案，化不利为有利！ - y9 A+ l9 J6 J% {
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主任说：“要是劫匪每个月都来抢一回就好了”。—— 工作很枯燥，快乐最重要！ 4 \* @8 E& D3 p' q6 I* Z
第二天新闻联播报道银行被抢了一亿，可劫匪数来数去只有两千万。& {. I4 s1 d5 F1 ]7 G) {
老大骂道：“妈的，老子拼了一条命才抢了两千万，银行行长动动手指头就赚了八千万，看来这年头还是要读书啊！”——知识可以转化金钱的明证！! M' v7 R4 @: S4 T2 O6 R% B0 a
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银行行长看到新闻联播后激动滴对主任说：“妈的，你小子可以，胆儿够肥的啊……”6 {2 S5 T+ z; _& o: [
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