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1.局花4 S6 H) i* ?8 r5 U. ?; O; U
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，5 u$ ~# G# P" @2 c L! y% _3 L
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
7 V" n3 O2 T* b4 N3 ?小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
7 I7 p4 x; Q& B( P' d9 _评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么/ G2 g S9 L# C6 ]$ q! q
# `2 [/ S1 P$ z- {8 {
2.媳妇8 b# M: A2 f: v/ ^
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
3 H/ `8 Q5 q$ X K3 E他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
- ?) W n: @2 E% R. T8 a2 c- Q5 j谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
* K: A2 T0 R+ E- N* z7 |5 S) w评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺1 N$ B* r4 _; t2 I8 D
+ U; r* Q* x& y5 j& r3.倒贴
3 e9 a& y& K" k" g2 s# @# j1 V* ^过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。& p8 h2 R5 b. w# |* K" y# s: p; X
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
. h# C) |5 E* `% J+ D老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”- _: E7 \+ b- E ~" q9 D
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
$ X! w% [, x7 W2 m话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
6 |) k% O# z4 E @0 q1 _7 z“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”9 X% N0 y( `6 p; s
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
% Q! P6 @) ?6 x7 T2 E' l
& m, e2 a; q: J1 a6 m4.刺激2 E; Y1 [* N- M& U% V
今天我走在街上，9 p! y; @ ^/ o Q: B/ \
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺* V) f9 `3 x: d7 [+ _
，我心想完了。
9 q( {' g2 n" b! r过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
- X6 Q! P! o! K5 j, b“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。" Q! y) C) [* o& K n. F
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！2 ^& h. g8 n8 i
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
: ~0 D f; G5 ^: j7 |* O# B. H0 c8 |- K8 ~- p& M$ ^: k6 `
5.不加倍4 f1 E3 l* a$ F3 `3 Y9 e/ H
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，, b. {% }) m3 Y" c8 ^/ G2 X
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
& l x. \3 D' E2 |老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
- s) E W9 M: Z5 e3 x7 [. N. r小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
8 L6 ~$ o# A. ~% t& W$ w' l* a* _小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
- v( R0 {2 E4 X" E* e- X9 d评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的# O( {2 |! h& n2 j j1 a, c3 V
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