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1.局花
( A+ d! Q$ f1 @4 }3 e$ A局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，6 ~" E3 l. e; z! L! j
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
9 M, z$ W5 [& r! Y% g# U6 I小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
; w. M* a* p6 N+ x* ^! r评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
& L/ K7 Y9 W$ Q' B P: q0 X# {
8 }8 R' ?( G# F0 ~4 @2.媳妇
$ k7 v# ?+ E( J" M: q4 r10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
6 q! r3 l8 M) }+ ~3 L他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”; a) _ {$ I+ [4 g
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”, o% r2 K1 m/ m2 \
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
" \0 L! _8 v9 ^# x+ g% G+ U
- Q# p) x, n( [4 T1 ~2 Y3.倒贴
- N; p, p9 S z' u- P$ v) A* }过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。# ] y" B3 v8 _3 U. N
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。$ j; s. ?/ i7 F
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
; g/ P. Y& P* \" Q: c, I- k老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”& ]: j4 i# p4 q; x& o3 X! O8 y- C
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
7 b0 O+ v* }4 O! j! O6 q, C“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”. z# r4 {7 w4 k% X
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊: A1 g: p# b, h2 v8 ^0 R
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4.刺激
( i; a* U, [1 G. U3 j1 S5 \/ \今天我走在街上，
, |. p8 L. c6 @) \/ T8 W* c对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
# O. M3 ~7 V1 N, v) p，我心想完了。& p* X4 ]+ Y) {0 c' V
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
1 o9 g1 C0 I: i& G“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
) @# {7 K3 ^ t: J1 U7 p$ P) ^尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！) D' O. Z* Y! _
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
4 V$ ^' w2 {1 R+ n \, z \& p2 H' N+ f9 T
5.不加倍2 T* }: ^+ g% S; l
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
2 b* ?( U9 m* [8 D$ y& n* d今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
3 b8 L7 [2 f% z1 [8 t2 J7 N/ r! O老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”* w0 `( d$ P. Q1 o1 z$ Y3 ]. T9 @
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”2 o8 u9 w0 ~, F! b* Y' Y
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”( l& t. G' T2 n" }+ x
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的. l% P4 u z% {8 J! B7 v
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